Sinuous
Sin'u-ous: adj. "1. Full of curves; 2. Devious."
Taking into account those two definitions for sinuous, I've come to one conclusion: Never trust large-breasted women.
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The word of the day is designed to broaden our grammatical horizons. Nothing is more impressive than casually spouting off 5-syllable masterpieces in mid-sentence – except maybe really big boobs… Anyway, every day I’ll post a new word for you to work into daily conversation so that you can wow friends, dazzle coworkers and confuse blonde girls and frat guys, because learning is fun and knowing is half the battle. |
February 28, 2005
February 24, 2005
Aggrandize
Ag-gran'dize: v.t. "Make greater in power, wealth, or rank."
If the children of America have learned anything in the last five years, then they have learned that the fastest, cheapest and best way to aggrandize themselves is to simply release their sex-tape on the internet. As in R. Kelly's case, the participants in said sex acts need not be anywhere near legal age. Go out and become famous kids!
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February 23, 2005
Yegg
Yegg: n. "A robber. Especially one who cracks safes."
Do you think the guys in Ocean's 11 referred to themselves as yegg-heads? NO? Okay. Me neither.
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February 22, 2005
Farrago
Far-ra'go: n. "A confused mixture."
If you ever got Jimmy Fallon together with Carrot Top and Nicole Ritchie to play "Find the Talent," I'd say you'd have yourself the definition of a farrago.
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February 21, 2005
Retrorocket
Ret'ro-rock"et: n. "An auxilliary rocket or jet engine on a spacecraft or satellite used to slow down its speed, as for landing on its celestial body."
It may be a stretch (literally), but I'm pretty sure my penis can be best described as a retrorocket.
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February 18, 2005
Esculent
Es'cu-lent: adj. "Fit to be used for food; edible."
I don't know if it's true, but I've heard a lot of stories about how Koreans find dog to be quite esculent. Huh? I like hot dogs. Also, my dog is named Reese. Reese Cups are good, but I don't think I'd ever eat my dog. That's weird.
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February 17, 2005
Triskaidekaphobia
Tris"kai-dek-a-pho"bi-a : n. "Morbid fear of the number 13."
Probably a lot of NFL defenses had triskaidekaphobia when they had to face Dan Marino, but Kurt Warner? Not so much anymore...
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February 16, 2005
Cacophony
Ca-coph'o-ny: n. "A combination of discordant sounds."
I can't think of a more perfect example of a cacophony than if Ashlee Simpson were to perform a duet with Scott Stapp. I think a distressed killer whale and a fox who just got its leg caught in a trap could produce a better musical arrangement than those two hacks.
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February 15, 2005
Gauche
Gauche: adj. "Socially awkward."
I couldn't help but feel a little gauche when I ripped that huge fart right in the middle of the exchanging of the vows at my buddy's wedding last weekend.
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February 14, 2005
Wetback
Wet'back": n. "A person who enters the U.S. illegally, usually from Mexico, to take a temporary job."
I swear to God that I took that definition verbatim from my "New American Webster Handy College Dictionary" (third edition). Either I am hallucinating or it looks like the editors had some fun or were drunk while typing out the final copy... Wow.
I just realized that I forgot to use "wetback" in a sentence. There.
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February 12, 2005
Nevus
Ne'vus: n. "A mole or birthmark."
Cindy Crawford's nevus = sexy. Mikhail Gorbachev's nevus = not sexy. Any questions?
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February 11, 2005
Sluice
Sluice: n. "A channel for carrying off surplus water."
Correct me if I'm wrong, but can't a maxi-pad be described as a sluice? Gross. I swear to Kotex that I'll never do another feminine hygeine joke again as long as I live.
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February 10, 2005
Dhole
Dhole: n. "A wild Asiatic dog."
It seems to me that when the Asians named this animal, they mixed up the English derogatory slang terms "a-hole" and "dickhead" and came up with "d-hole." That's kind of a stretch though, I guess. Especially since the "h" is supposed to be silent. Whatev.
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February 09, 2005
Misanthropy
Mis-an'thro-py: n. "Evil deeds to humankind."
I don't know him personally, but I'm pretty sure Carson Daly committs misanthropy every single time he wakes up in the morning.
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February 08, 2005
Banger
Bang'er: n. "A British term for sausage."
It may be because I'm uber-immature, but that definition for "banger" cracks me up. I'll tell you what, my sausage is DEFINITELY a banger... in my dreams.
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February 07, 2005
Fistula
Fis'tu-la: n. "An ulcerious passage from an abcess or an internal organ to the surface."
I still have no idea what a fistula is. I didn't realize that you had to be Doogie Howser-esque to be able to read the dictionary. Webster is a jerk.
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February 04, 2005
Taterdemalion
Tat"ter-de-mal'i-on: n. "A ragged fellow."
Try as he might, Billy Bob Thornton will never escape the fact that he is a taterdemalion straight out of your local trailer park. But he still got to bang Angelina Jolie, which gives hope to us all...
p.s. - He's weird.
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February 03, 2005
Platitude
Plat'i-tude": n. "A trite, obvious remark."
Next time one of your friends (or CBS college basketball analyst Clark Kellogg) points out somthing ridiculously obvious, say this: "Hey, nice observation, jackass. I believe the geographic coordinates of your statement can be found @ 37 degrees north PLATITUDE."
Never mind, that would take too long and nobody would even understand what you were talking about. Just go ahead and punch them in the throat.
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February 02, 2005
Carking
Cark'ing: adj. "Worrisome; anxious."
It's okay to be a little carking about getting an STD from having sex with Pamela Anderson. Heck, I'd be worried about contracting something just from being in the same ZIPCODE as Pamela Anderson.
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